Saturday, May 14, 2005

The other day in the greenhouse, our supervisor brought us a stack of fibre pots which he had already pulled apart in order to spare us the hassle of yanking and pulling whilst trying to pot trees at the same time. "Ron, you're our hero!" says Kenny, expressing our extreme gratitude for the simple act.
"Don't even go there," says Ron.
Confused, Kenny asks for an explanation.
"Heros always let you down, eventually." He's perfectly serious.

Ron is a generally happy and good man. He always ensures that we, the underlings, know that the mix-ups and low counts are not due to our work. He is constantly in good spirits and jokes with us all day long, even when we're under the gun and have a specific potting deadline. He admitted yesterday that he never gets angry, only diappointed. From the sounds of it, he has been disappointed one too many times. I wonder what kind of experiences could make a man like this so disheartened about heros, about role models, that he resists the idea so much? He seems to be afraid to be placed into that role at the risk of disappointing someone, and would probably be just as afraid to place someone else in the role at the risk of being disappointed. I wonder what's worse in his mind: being disappointed or disappointing someone else? Anyhow, the comment that he made, "Heros always let you down, eventually," really made me stop and wonder what he experiences in life have been to give him that world view. I know that nobody is perfect and as such, people will let you down, but for that to be the main mentality... It makes me wonder.

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